Hoopty

We all have one. That one opinion that makes fellow car people tilt their heads like a confused dog hearing a harmonica. That one hot take that would get you kicked out of Cars and Coffee if spoken too loud near a Shelby owner. The one irrational automotive opinion that you cling to like a spare key fob in the back of your junk drawer.

And I’m here to say: embrace it. Because if we can’t stand firmly behind our most unhinged vehicular beliefs, then what separates us from the animals?

Let me kick things off with mine:

The Pontiac Aztek was 20 years ahead of its time.

Yes, the same Aztek that looks like a Transformer halfway through puberty. The same Aztek that starred in Breaking Bad as a metaphor for Walter White’s dignity melting faster than the clearcoat on a ‘98 Dodge Neon.

But hear me out:
Stick a Tesla badge on it today, and the world would trip over itself calling it “brutalist minimalism.” The sharp angles? Avant-garde. The awkward proportions? Intentional. The built-in camping accessories and cooler in the back? That’s “overlanding chic,” baby.

The Aztek was mocked in its time, much like the Prius, or your friend’s weird art school girlfriend who now owns a gallery in Berlin. It’s the vehicle equivalent of an indie band from the early 2000s that only got famous after a track landed in a Netflix docuseries.

And it’s not just me.

Let’s take a stroll down Delusion Lane, where you’ll find the most irrational car opinions that real (and only slightly unhinged) enthusiasts stand behind:

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“The Chevy SSR is a masterpiece.”
Imagine a retro pickup convertible that nobody asked for—but somehow, that’s exactly why it rules. It’s the vehicular equivalent of a mullet and a Hawaiian shirt in one package. Also, it had a Corvette engine. It was a muscle car in cosplay.

“The Chrysler PT Cruiser would’ve worked… if it had suicide doors.”
Sure, it looked like a gangster’s hearse on 15-inch wheels, but make it a rear-hinged-door cruiser and suddenly you’re elevating it to art deco royalty. Missed opportunity, Chrysler.

“All BMWs peaked with the E65 7 Series.”
This take is so irrational that it actually comes full circle and becomes a lukewarm truth. The iDrive was awful, the styling was polarizing, and the rear looked like a smirking Roomba—but hey, it had presence.

“Base model cars are cooler than top trims.”
There’s something punk rock about steel wheels and crank windows. You don’t need leather and lane assist when you’ve got pride and a five-speed. Shoutout to anyone daily-driving a Nissan Versa S like it’s a Type R.

“Cladding makes everything better.”
Do you miss the Subaru Baja? The Avalanche? The Honda Element? You might be suffering from Cladding Deficiency Syndrome. Symptoms include an irrational love for unpainted plastic and yelling “function over form” into the void.

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So what’s your irrational opinion?

That the Mustang II wasn’t all bad? That the Fiat Multipla had charm? That a three-cylinder engine sounds “kinda nice”?

Own it. Share it. Preach it in the comments below.

Because cars aren’t just about logic and specs and lap times—they’re about passion, weird obsessions, and a healthy dose of denial.

And if loving the Aztek is wrong?
Then I don’t want to be right.