If you’ve ever sold literally anything on Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist you’ve encountered them—the bargain hunters, the dreamers, the “I have $5, will you deliver?” crowd.
Ah yes, the lowballers.
These daring individuals have perfected the art of offering insultingly low amounts for your hard-earned, fairly-priced items, all while maintaining an air of confidence that suggests you’re the one being unreasonable.
Let’s break down the world of lowballing, why it happens, and how to counter these warriors of financial audacity.
What Exactly Is a Lowball Offer?
A lowball offer is when a buyer proposes a wildly unrealistic price, often at third-world flea market levels, expecting you to say yes.
For example:
- You list your PS5 for $400, and some hero messages, “Will u take $50?”
- Your car is up for $10,000, and someone with an expired coupon for Arby’s asks, “$2,500 cash today?”
- You post a couch for $150, and a buyer responds, “I only have $20, but I can pick it up now.”
These are the moments that test your patience as a human being.
Why Do People Lowball? (And Do They Feel Shame?)
Lowballers come in many forms, each more irritating than the last. Let’s break down why these people think you’d happily accept a deal worse than trading your car for a sandwich.
1. The “Just Trying My Luck” Guy 🎲
- This individual has no shame.
- They know their offer is trash, but they also know that sometimes desperate sellers accept ridiculous deals.
- Their motto? “If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”
- Their other motto? “I have no dignity.”
🛑 How to handle: Respond with “Sure! If I can also keep your car as collateral.”
2. The “But It’s All I Have” Gambit 🤷
- They’ll start with, “I only have $50, will you take it?”
- Somehow, they expect you to make their financial struggles your problem.
- This is a Facebook Marketplace classic.
🛑 How to handle: Politely respond, “I only have $50,000 in student debt, will you pay it?”
3. The Negotiation Jedi 🧠
- This one lowballs as a tactic, expecting a counteroffer.
- Their offer isn’t meant to be accepted—it’s just to anchor the conversation in their favor.
- For example, if your car is $8,000, they offer $3,500, hoping you’ll meet them at $5,000.
- If they worked at a dealership, they’d have three yachts by now.
🛑 How to handle: Counter with $8,001 just to assert dominance.
4. The “Cash Today” Hustler 💰
- The words “CASH TODAY” will be shouted at you like you were otherwise planning to accept goat trade or Monopoly money.
- They act like cash itself is worth more than the agreed-upon number.
- “$500?? Bro, I got $100 CASH RIGHT NOW.”
- Oh, wow! CASH?? Not bottle caps?? Incredible!
🛑 How to handle: “Cool, I also accept cash at full price.”
5. The Chronic Time Waster ⏳
- These are the people who ask 10,000 questions before lowballing you.
- “Does it run?”
- “Any issues?”
- “Would you trade for my broken dirt bike?”
- After wasting an hour of your life, they hit you with “Would you take 10% of asking price?”
🛑 How to handle: Block. Immediately.
The Aftermath of a Lowball Offer
When You Say No:
✔️ They often disappear like thieves in the night.
✔️ Some will try guilt-tripping you (“C’mon, man, I really need this!”).
✔️ A few will insult you (“Lol, good luck getting that price”).
When You Say Yes (God Help You):
❌ They will probably still flake anyway.
❌ They will show up with less money than agreed upon.
❌ They will demand free delivery.
How to Counter Lowballers Like a Pro
If you’re tired of the nonsense, here’s how to fight back:
1. List Your Item Higher Than You Want 🔺
- If you want $500, list it at $600, because lowballers will always lowball.
2. Ignore Stupid Offers 🚫
- If they offer 20% of asking price, don’t engage—they’re not serious.
3. Use Counter-Lowballing as a Weapon ⚔️
- If they offer $100 for your $500 item, counter at $900 and watch them explode.
4. Add “Price Firm” to Your Listing 📌
- Some will ignore it, but it deters at least 50% of nonsense messages.
5. Embrace the Chaos & Have Fun With It 🤡
- If someone offers $50 for your $800 TV, reply: “$900, final offer.”
Final Thoughts: The Lowballing Epidemic
Lowballers aren’t going anywhere. They are a force of nature, much like mosquitoes, internet trolls, and that one guy who revs his Honda Civic at 2 AM.
The best strategy? Don’t take them personally, don’t waste time, and when in doubt, have fun with it.
Or, if all else fails, just sell your stuff on eBay instead. 😆
Happy selling! 🚀
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